Part of you wants it, part of you doesn't? Give each side a chair.

You want to say yes. You also want to say no. One part of you is excited. Another part is afraid. They argue all day, and nobody wins.

This small experiment gives each side its own turn to speak. You need two chairs, or two cushions, and 5 minutes.

Put two chairs facing each other. Sit in the first one. Speak as the side that wants it. Use "I". Say what it wants and why. When it is done, get up and move to the other chair.

What to expect: talking out loud to an empty chair feels odd. Give it a minute.

Now you are in the second chair. You are the afraid side. Say what you are afraid of. Then answer one question: what do I need?

What to expect: the afraid side often asks for something small and clear.

Stand up and take a place between the two chairs, or sit on a third one. You have heard both sides. Choose one small step that listens to both.

What to expect: this does not have to settle everything. One small step is enough.

Pick one ordinary mixed feeling, like a trip, a purchase or a small change at work. Do the three steps, 5 minutes in all. Write the one small step on a note and put it where you will see it.

Giving each side a chair is a technique that is used in therapy. One way to see it: when each part gets a turn, you may stop hearing one loud voice and one muffled one. It may help you understand what each part of you wants.

The honest part: the studies come mostly from sessions with a therapist. One small pilot study had nine people in therapy. This short version on your own has not been tested.